lusture:

my sister just broke up with her boyfriend and i walked behind her on her laptop and she made sims clone of him and locked him in his house and she set the house on fire im laughing so hard 

termsofenragement:

Corporate social media accounts just remind me of this:

wayward-saints:

vizier:

I don’t trust people with graph paper. They’re always plotting something

epic-humor:

bricesander: Miley speaks for us all. 

saltandvinegarcrisps:

the internet is trying to break up with me

whatnycusedtobe:

once i was having a sleepover and it was like three in the morning and my friend just says ‘what if there was a store just for food?’ 

then three minutes later she blurted out ‘grocery store’ 

ofuckme:

sometimes i go through my blog pretending its not mine and admire it

lexirose-is-cool:

“HUMAN HANDS ARE SO WEAK”

“DAMMIT how you do this without telekinesis?”

“WHAT IS THIS SENSATION CALLED PAIN”

laugh-addict:

“No, how about you run a mile in under 8 minutes, you fat piece of crap.”